Celebrating my 40th birthday in Mexico with my bestie is the best decision I’ve made in a long time.
Parents! Don’t Despair If Your Child Seems Developmentally Delayed
There are FREE services in most states and counties. Here’s my experience as a resident of Alameda County, California:
Our kiddo around age 1, captured by my friend, Lindsay.
My child was born in 2019. Just when I felt I had the energy and wherewithal necessary to hit up local playgrounds, the pandemic closed them. We have no family on this coast and were very, very careful not to interact with others in the early days of shelter-in-place.
Could that be a large factor as to why my son was speech-delayed? Possibly. It felt off, though. When playgrounds reopened, I regularly noticed younger kids were much more verbal than my little guy.
Our pediatrician wasn’t concerned at all. After the third time I brought it up, I demanded he give me some local suggestions of speech therapists to see. I was overwhelmed.
We went to a popular Oakland-based office and quickly realized it wasn’t a good fit. It was hard enough schlepping over, climbing the tall stairs, and then the speech therapist locked the door when he kept trying to leave instead of switching up the lesson.
Thankfully, I posted a bit on Facebook when he started to say more words and had two moms I admire and respect both reach out to me about seeking help from our federally-funded regional center. It was obvious it bothered me still.
I have an adult cousin with disabilities and his mom is my favorite, most beautiful aunt. She was one who reached out and told me to seek as much help as I can. Most states have systems in place to help us ensure our kids thrive. It was super easy to reach out to the Regional Center of the East Bay, whose Facebook Page a local parent direct messaged me. We had our son assessed ASAP (via zoom) and they determined he was speech-delayed and had some other behaviors that could use observation. Soon after, we were assigned an early intervention specialist who met with us weekly. I felt so validated after months of feeling lost and a little gaslit.
My little guy having a meltdown because my friend, Maryam, came by for a family photo session in 2020.
That first meeting with Shannon, our appointed early intervention specialist? This child was DISTRESSED. He did NOT want a new person around. After a few meetings, he soon looked forward to her visits and we sometimes met at playgrounds and once even, the zoo! After months of working with her, he was about to turn 3. That’s about when the RCEB helps with transitioning to your local school district.
Our little guy at his 3rd birthday party last year sits in my lap and hi-fives his dad. Photo by the awesome Neptune.
Shannon helped us navigate the Berkeley Unified School District’s assessment protocols which I sought due to his aversion to social situations and continued disinterest in using language to communicate with others. Yo mr, all signs pointed to autism since he can read and narrate entire television programs and easily remembers song lyrics. I wouldn’t mind in the least if my kiddo was on the spectrum! My main concerns were identifying any difficulties he might have and getting the right help as soon as possible.
An occupational therapist, two special education teachers, a school psychiatrist, and a speech pathologist all met with us, sometimes together, sometimes individually, to play with and observe the kiddo.
In the end, it was unanimous amongst the team that he’s speech-delayed and socially-delayed but enrolling in school should greatly improve both. (They were right!) We also started working with a speech therapist within the school district, so it’s pretty much in our neighborhood AND he’s obsessed with his new speech teach. And it’s free. We were paying a high copay with the less ideal speech practice.
Whether your kid isn’t gaining weight or meeting milestones, there’s an easy way to get outside help. Pediatricians often assure parents that things are “fine” and it can be frustrating. Trust your parental instincts. Seek out the answers to the questions you have about your child. You are their best advocate.
It’s a great time to step into that honored role.
This Is Why Healthcare In This Country Sucks
Have you ever needed an MRI?
Warning: This is a vent.
I’ve had excruciating nerve pain like nothing I’ve felt before and haven’t been able to walk about since Friday (it’s Tuesday).
Yesterday, I researched an emergency room at a local hospital that has MRI capabilities hoping the fact that I was in level 10 pain and my history of back issues might indicate to them that they should take a look.
Instead, both the intake nurse and treating doctor (who were otherwise fine), laughed when I asked for an MRI to rule out cauda equina syndrome and said my chiropractor is out of her depth for even considering it (since I CAN lift my foot and have current control of my bowels).
Doc suggested I get my primary doctor to refer me. I called One Medical since I don’t have a General Practitioner outside of that and they said they can’t refer me until I get X-rays (that shows nothing except like bones?) and 6 WEEKS OF PHYSICAL THERAPY.
It shouldn’t be this hard. I’m getting acupuncture and paying out of pocket because our insurance plan has a high ass deductible and no decent coverage but it gives me relief. The hospital just prescribed muscle relaxers and narcotics that make me feel like shit but hey, at least I was able to sit down?
Cuz I was in the ER on my knees or awkwardly holding onto the backs of chairs for hours since the pain was too bad and I couldn’t bend at the waist.
What’s the answer here? Someone suggested a leader in the field who’s in Napa but how I’m supposed to get up to Napa? And my spouse has an off-site retreat next week but I truly cannot stand up for more than a few minutes.
I feel for everyone who knows this pain, especially the parents.
That’s it. That’s the post.
Make Your Life Easier!
I chose a gorgeous venue for our kiddo’s 3rd birthday that did all the heavy lifting for us. All I needed to do was bring snacks and or finger food.
This is my first go-round as a parent. And all signs are pointing to us being One & Done (By Choice).
Maybe in part due to that decision, I can spend a bit more on celebrations for my only. Even if he wasn’t an only, after what I know now, I’d budget for a photographer for birthday parties. Maybe any family gathering. There’s no way I had the presence of mind to take photos of the setup, let alone get someone to take photos I like of my little triangle family.
How cute is this dinosaur themed tablescape??? The staff set this up and used their own props.
Our little guy definitely blew the candle out before The Birthday Song concluded so it was great to relight it so our photographer could get a crisp shot. He enjoyed it, too. We would not have thought to do that on our own!
Though many of my closest friends are also professional photographers, I like them to relax during events. Upon researching the venue, I noticed one local photographer tagged in their Instagram so I reached out months ago. Neptune was warm and available and I am SO happy with my decision to hire her.
Some of these sneak peek photos show how in awe our newly minted 3 year old was. Since he was born about 6 months prior to pandemic lockdown, this is his first real birthday party.
Here’s some action shots of the big day. It’s the first time in Casey’s life that he socialized with multiple kids as well as adults. My spouse pointed out the fact that everyone present is someone he’s spent time with before. He has a history of being in clear distress around others so this was a huge step in his personal growth. I really think since I was relaxed and not feeling pressure to take pics and video, it helped keep the mood mellow and chill.
Look at that precision! He was so proud of himself.
Should I post more pics when I get the final gallery? Do you have any questions about this venue or hiring a photographer?
Let me know! I hope to blog more frequently. Thanks for reading!
This Is Why I’ll Never Shop Alone Again
This is sponsored by Nordstrom. You can find out more about Nordstrom Styling Services here.
The convenient cafe in the upper level where I refueled with a delicious lunch.
Last week, I made the short trek over to the Nordstrom in Walnut Creek, land of easy parking and retail bliss. I don’t know about you, but I hadn’t stepped foot inside a clothing store since well before the pandemic. In fact, after I became a mom, weaned my baby and finally felt like I could go out again, only to go into lockdown. In March of 2020.
Dressing my new body was hard. Nothing fits right. As with many birthing parents, everything fluctuated (including my hormones). Coupled with the fear of exposing my family to unnecessary illness, in-person shopping was very low on my priority list.
I still tried my best and ordered too many clothes that were promptly returned due to missing the mark, either size-wise or quality, or any number of things that come with online shopping. It seemed like a bit of a lost cause. I’m kinda fitting into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes again, ya know?
Cue Nordstrom’s free styling services. LISTEN. I had no idea how fun it is to meet with a professional fashionista. Nor did I have any clue that I could get help from expert stylists for NO ADDITIONAL COST.
So! Here’s a detailed account of my eye-opening, life-changing experience:
How It Started
This is what I wore to my styling session. I didn't think it was an awesome outfit, but I felt kinda good about it.
How It’s Going
Next to the head to toe look Pansy selected for me, there's NO COMPARISON! The fit is better, the style is happier, and it's overall more weather-appropriate.
Nordstrom matched me with Pansy, veteran stylist and super chic auntie. We briefly chatted on the phone and she sent me a questionnaire via email to get to know my style, my likes, my needs, and an idea of my current sizes. It was super easy. We picked a date and when I arrived at the store, I was greeted enthusiastically and led to a large fitting room full of amazing pieces hand-picked just for me.
(Will add short video of Pansy opening the door to the fitting room, which I’ll upload in the conversation thread since docs cannot support a video file.)
It felt like a dream. I used to think this kind of service was out of reach, for socialites and celebrities, but guess what? It’s for EVERYONE. I don’t think I’ll go to Nordstrom again without scheduling a free session with Pansy. It’s much more practical to enlist the help of someone who knows me, my style, and all the available inventory the store offers than going in as a lone ranger. Pansy selected an array of items and thoughtfully included some that were on sale, too. Shopping with a stylist IS accessible now. And super fun. There were dance breaks. I’m serious.
This is a better version of the outfit I rolled up to Nordstrom in. I'm still wearing my own shoes, but the classic tank (I always need basics like that), olive cardigan and COMFORTABLE pants look much more polished.
Did some pieces not work? You betcha. But that was the beauty of it all. (Check my pinned highlights on Instagram to see an example of this.) Pansy asked me if there was anything I immediately didn’t like and there were a few things that seemed too trendy (read: rainbow tie dye). One skirt couldn’t button and some jeans didn’t get over my thighs, but I did NOT feel defeated like I have in the past when shopping solo. I didn’t once feel bad about my body. It doesn’t fit? Onto the next one. And guess what? I saved SO MUCH TIME! I’ve never ever tried on so many things in such a short period of time. Couldn’t have happened otherwise. This is the perfect solution for busy parents, especially moms. I didn’t even mention the magic of someone else running out to get a different size while you stay in the fitting room.
The details in this Farm Rio top are EVERYTHING! And these plum colored pants are ridiculously comfortable AND cute.
One of the Farm Rio sweaters I purchased is a size MEDIUM. I did not think I could wear something off the rack in a size M since I’ve been buying myself 2X or XL for the past year (and those sizes also fit me). Pansy taught me that it really depends on the cut of each individual item. Farm Rio is a gorgeous brand I’ve noticed online but didn’t have the confidence to purchase from as I’ve never tried it on in person and it’s a higher price point than I’m used to spending. Now I own two statement pieces which I’m certain I’ll be wearing during the holidays and for years to come. Shopping with a stylist gave me the confidence to wear clothes I never would have considered. I want everyone to have this experience! It’s as simple as making an appointment here.
This necklace and earring pair is EVERYTHING. I never would've tried either, but they were pre-selected to go with a lot of the items my personal stylist pulled for me.
Have you shopped with a stylist before? Do you have any questions about my experience? Let me know!
Ode to 엄마
We’d be celebrating you today
You’d be loved on for sure
The number? I’m not even sure if we’d keep on celebrating as if you were born in 49 when I figured out you were born in 48 that one time we were back in Korea together…
That makes you 73 today, mommy
Wow
What a full life you’ve had
You got to make some dreams come true, too
I regret not helping you see the world more
Never learned to cook so I could feed you the way you fed my soul
Paul thinks no one else understands or remembers
How special and funny and intelligent you were
I think he grossly underestimated the literal magic that dripped off of your fingers
It soaked each of your words
In English and Korean
You could make anyone laugh
It was like performance art
Your voice
I can’t believe I never recorded it
It’s a crime that the entire world didn’t hear you sing
You felt deeply. This was good and bad
If only I could share what I know now
About how our bodies remember trauma
That it’s not always a slight against us when people do things
Your heart was so pure and so strong
The ambition and determination which led you to work 12 hour days at least 6 days a week for as long as I can remember
That’s what killed you
The cancer didn’t help. That invasive bitch
You had just retired
Then you were bored
Then you got a fun job
Then your nipple changed color and inverted and I happened to be home to see you get dressed. You said it was okay
You heard God’s voice tell you it’s okay
I took you to the doctor anyway and made them see you that day
It wasn’t too long after that. What an honor and a privilege and the hardest thing I ever did
When I dropped my life plans to help you through it
Caitlin guided me through the admin
Her, too, with her2
She passed some years after you
She was my age
Mommy, you’re 73 today. I’m 37. We’d probably have a good laugh about that.
I tried to tell my Pilates instructor how funny you were but it didn’t translate well at all when I told her about my ripped jeans and how you said 보지털 철음 생겼어
In English it made her say, “ew” and scrunch her pretty face
In Korean, it made me double over laughing while walking into the commissary on Ft. Dix
I wish you were here. I’ll get some incense and prepare better for next year. And make some 미역국 and have a snickers bar or two for you.
Happy birthday, 엄마
I think about you every day and know you’re with me. I miss you
A very old, blurry photo from a wedding probably in 2009?
I’m Freaking Out Over Magnetic Lashes
This style is from Glamnetic and it’s called Lucky. It worked better for my eye shape after I trimmed a section from the inner corner.
I’ve never been able to successfully apply falsies with lash glue. The targeted Facebook ads came at me hard this year and I dropped too much money on an order from Glamnetic, hoping they’d change the game. Reader, they did.
The styles I purchased were all very different and it opened me up to a whole new world of glam, for real. Since winged eyeliner has been my go-to makeup style since middle school, there was no learning curve for me. I splurged on their felt tip eyeliner pen to ensure an easy application and to set me up for success. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
I didn’t realize that there were anchors with each pair I purchased. If that was clear to me, I wouldn’t have bought a whole pack of them separately. Anchors are very small little clusters to place under lashes. They’re designed to magnetize with the strip, sandwiching your natural eyelashes and providing more security. Supposedly, they also give the option to not even need liner (I was never able to successfully use them so I don’t really buy it).
I Need Things To Be Quick & Easy
I’m a mom. I’m lucky if I get 10 minutes to apply some makeup.
Here I am with the reason for my time limitations. I’m wearing the Glamnetic style Wish here, which I purchased because their site suggested it’s good for hooded eyes. My toddler matches the joy I felt when I realized how easy magnetic lashes are.
Though they claim each set can be worn up to 60 times, it was closer to 10 times on average for me. Their site helps shoppers select eye shapes to find the styles best for them, which I super appreciate as I have hooded lids.
I almost bought more but they’re kinda pricey. That’s when I noticed Target also carries some options! I purchased the Kiss brand magnetic strip lashes and liner set for about $20 and thennnn found them on Amazon for closer to $5! The price difference is due to buying with liner or not. I’ve got all this Glamnetic liner left so next step is to see if I can use it with different brand lashes. Wow. You can get a different style than I did and the liner for less than $13 here.
Charm by KISS
Truly charming as these lashes are a fraction of the price of Glamnetic and I honestly like them more. They’re lighter and natural-looking.
The Glamnetic strips are too dark and thick, if that makes sense? They’re way denser than the KISS styles and not in a good way. If you spend any time reading the reviews, folks with lighter hair can’t really pull off the Glamnetic lashes because they’re too dark. I also think the strip itself is super bulky. TL;DR go for KISS if this is your first magnetic rodeo.
Skip Target’s EyeLure option. I was excited to get the clusters they sell but the eyeliner burned my lids. That was a first. The formula was super watery, too, so in addition to burning my upper lash line, there was transfer when I looked down. I might see if I can salvage them and use one of the other liners instead.
I guess there’s gonna be a part 2! Have you tried magnetic lashes yet? Anything you’re curious about?
Mom Life: First Photoshoot & Partnership
It’s been a minute. So much has happened! I’m a mom. This is my first blog in over a year. I moved out of San Francisco. And I’ve got this cool partnership with Thinx (period panties I’ve been using for YEARS).
To get set up, they required some headshots and all of mine are dated. Therefore, I did what I usually do—called my girl Ella and asked her for a quick in-home mini session.
Y’ALL. I’m SO thankful that she’s one of my best friends, patient, and incredibly creative because the photos almost didn’t happen. I couldn’t even get much makeup on due to a certain someone.
My attempt at getting camera-ready was comical.
If it was anyone else taking my photo, I’m certain I would’ve been super frustrated and embarrassed that this tiny human required so much from me in such a short period of time. Writing that last bit hurt my heart a little. Of course he needs a lot from me! He’s only two months old. I miss working and the freedom to go places, but I need to savor this season. Ella’s professionalism and warmth made a potentially stressful situation into a super fun shoot. And yes, he was on my lap the entire time, for every photo. (It’s his favorite place to nap and I’m part of camp Never Wake A Sleeping Baby).
She makes me laugh like this a lot.
It feels great to ease back into work, especially with a brand I’ve used for so long. If you’re in need of some period-proof underwear or know someone with incontinence issues, there’s Thinx Speax for bladder leaks and BTWN, for tweens and teens. Shop here and save $10 on your order. There’s also a money-back guarantee, so you’ve got nothing to lose!
What else should I write about?
Leave a comment and let me know!
Femme Fair 2018
This was my little piece of Femme Fair. All photos in this blog taken by the talented Jess Onesto.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know all about the very fun, very full day I spent at Femme Fair. This was just their second year and it was a really amazing event. In addition to networking, this was a day full of shopping, learning, and serious pampering.
I've been to The Archery before, but seeing how Claire and the team transformed it was a real treat. Our day started off with yogurt parfaits and delicious coffee for fuel. After the first amazing panel discussion, groups broke out for mentoring and shopping.
I'm so glad that there were women interested in my previously loved pieces. It was my first year participating, and I'm so grateful I had this opportunity.
Sustainable fashion is really important to me. With each huge life shift, there have been numerous trips to consignment stores, thrift shops, and participation in clothing swaps to responsibly make changes in my closet. This was a new way for me to continue the life of pieces that no longer serve me.
My size range was pretty big due to my new body and gaining weight over the past few years. Thanks to some of the women who stood by me at Femme Fair, I've learned to love and adorn my body like never before.
The past two years in the Bay Area have involved a huge change in style. For starters, I no longer have to deal with harsh winters that require gloves and hats and rubberized soles to prevent from slipping on ice.
I've started to incorporate a lot of color back into my everyday looks and even bought a bikini for the first time in years!
If you get the chance to attend next year's Femme Fair, you should totally treat yourself. There was a lot I didn't even get to partake in, like the Dyson stylists and makeup artists who were doing mini makeovers. It's a feel-good, femmetastic time you won't regret.
EVENT BY
Founders Stacey de León, Christina Chinn, Melissa San Vicente Event design Claire Xue Coordination Ashley-Victoria Graphic design Nailah Ali Editorial Weekend Creative
Venue rented through Peerspace
Photographer Jess Onesto
Videographer Marco Bercasio
SPEAKERS
Arnelle Lozada, Chloe Elisa, Mandana Ansari, Melissa San Vicente and Shahida Zareef
BLOGGER PARTICIPANTS
Ashleigh Reddy, Angie Hilem, Chandamheer Stacker, Chantelle Tankson, Christine Yun, Daisy Hernandez, Eden Davis, Emma Ribeira, Gabriella Seviya, Gomada Leone Thomas, Jayme Sy, Julianne Cronin, Kelsey Kaplan, Monica Cruz-Hernandez
DECOR
Macrame wall hangings Lise Silva Hanging undies Pansy Event florals Freckled Floral + Claire Xue Booth florals Landeau Furniture Archive Rentals + Stacey de León
FOOD
Desserts The Jen Project Girl power cookies XO Bakes Yogurt and cheese plate Kite Hill Foods Granola Nana Joes Granola Fruit Snacks Bare Snacks Coffee Lady Falcon Coffee Club Wines Anna de Codorniu and Windsor Vineyards Cocktails Purity Organic
ACTIVITIES
Skincare Lounge DHC Skincare Hair, Makeup & Mani’s Stylebee Blowout Bar Dyson Lip Bar NARS Floral DIY Le Bouquet
POP-UP SHOPS
And.Comfort Candid Art Dopp City Shoes Mandana Blvd Saje Wellness
GIVEAWAYS
Peerspace, Bumble & Bumble, Cocokind, Dyson Supersonic, SoulCycle, Oui Shave and T3 Micro
GIFT BAG GOODIES
Browology, DHC Skincare, Bare Snacks, Bite Beauty, CreativeLive, Charlotte Russe, Dyson, Greetabl, IBY Beauty, Fat and the Moon, Hush Dotti, Iris and West, Nutri-Rich Vitamins, Lilah Beauty, MGS Accessories, Miss Patisserie, Navitas Organics, OLLY, Pacifica Beauty, Passion Planners, Posh and Wild, Pressed Juicery, SmashMallow, Sunglass LA, TCHO, WinkyLux
This Is Hashtag 101
We've all used them on our posts or to make a silly joke. Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon had that hilarious sketch years ago about what a Twitter conversation would be like IRL, even. Though what some of us remember as "the pound sign" is now ubiquitous due to social media, many aren't aware of the power of the crosshatched lines. I could probably write a book on hashtag use, so I'll share in greater detail over the course of a few blogs more specifics on optimizing usage, but here are some general things to know about hashtags:
Doesn't this look like a giant hashtag?
1. They Help You Tap Into Larger Conversations
Portrait by Pedro Oros @ Allmost Us Studios #GridOnLock
Whatever you're into, there's someone else in the world who's probably into it, too. Luckily, we live in a time that easily allows us to find those with whom we vibe. Search tags of interest on Instagram - go ahead. Let me know what you find. I'm certain if there's a new book release or television show that you want to geek out on, you'll quickly identify a like-minded person on the gram who shares your joy.
2. You Can Brand Your Content
Every Tuesday I share a #TuesdayInstagramTip. For me, it was a way to stay diligent and create a schedule of content to share. Additionally, it positions me as an expert (I've got so many tips, y'all. I think about social strategy nonstop all day, every day). You can get granular with the types of things you share and having a tag for specific posts will help you segment your work so that people can find exactly what they want to see.
For photographers who are starting out, I suggest branding various posts with tags like #engagementsbyangie or #weddingsbyangie to make it easy for prospective clients to easily view your breadth of work without needing to toggle between various accounts.
3. Community Building & Engagement
If you ever host an event, create a unique hashtag! Just this weekend, I participated in an all-day blogger bonanza that included badass women from different industries all convening in the name of sisterhood and style. The event is called Femme Fair and the biggest sponsor was Peerspace. Therefore, the main tag for the event was #femmefairxpeerspace. And guess what? There are over 200 uses on Instagram alone! It's always fun for me to discover people I didn't get a chance to meet or reconnect with those I did. It doesn't take much effort to include in your marketing collateral, but the ROI is incredible.
Here I am with my friends @lovechauntie & @stayreddy. You'll see posts from us if you search #femmefairxpeerspace
3 Reasons to Host A Giveaway on Instagram
A tried and true exercise for brands and businesses is the good ole giveaway. If you're a product-based business, collaborating with influencers in your niche to give some product away (see what I did there?) is a no-brainer. I recently ran my first, solo contest in collaboration with Harper Wilde. They're a really cool bra company that offers free at-home try-ons. Alsooo, "A portion of each purchase is donated to girls' education. [They] will not only lift your ladies, but lift the next generation of leading ladies as well." Makes sense that there are two female founders at the helm, huh?
I'm going to list 3 reasons why a giveaway was the right move for me, and why it might be a good idea for you.
1. Engagement Boost
Everyone is suffering from a decrease in engagement. Maybe it's because more people are spending time in stories. Maybe your post is seriously throttled because you posted at an off time, so you didn't get enough likes or comments to warrant Instagram to show more of your followers the post. Whatever the reason, by requiring entrants to tag a friend in comments, there will be more eyes on your post, and hopefully that will enlist more people to enter your contest.
My posts average about 10 comments from my audience on average days. When I posted the announcement of the giveaway, this post got 6X that!
268 Likes, 62 Comments - 앤지 ⚡️ Heighten Social (@angiehilem) on Instagram: "[contest closed] Congrats to @wendy.__.bird for winning new bras!! // Alright, folks - here we go..."
2. Follower Increase
Another common requirement to enter an online giveaway is to follow each host account. Loop giveaways are so painful for me to enter (yes, I enter contests as well as host them). The recent one I hosted simply required a follow on my account & Harper Wilde's —and the answer to this question: How old is your oldest bra?
Prior to this contest, I was hovering between 11.8 and 11.9k followers. I'm happy to say that after running this giveaway for a window of 48 hours, it looks like I'm closer to 12k and I'm super stoked about it!
Portrait by Ella Sophie Photography as part of a serious on Body Positive Boudoir.
3. Delight Your Audience
Social Media is supposed to be SOCIAL, after all. I constantly remind clients and colleagues to serve before you sell. It's the only way to replicate the kind of relationships we have offline. Offering the chance for someone to receive a thing of value simply for being a part of your community is a really awesome way of thanking them.
There is a need for authenticity when partnering with brands in every capacity. What made me want to work on a second campaign with HW is how incredibly supportive and body positive they are. I thought I was pushing the envelope by showing my rolls in the bra, since most undergarment companies only show slim and smooth bodies. When they were excited and welcoming of the content I created, I knew it was a company that's aligned with my own values.
To be completely transparent: I collaborated with them earlier this year to create content in The Flex (everyday strapless bra captured by Ella Sophie Photographer). I've worn it a lot and it's been great. I ordered 3 more bras and within seconds of getting a confirmation email, I received an email from an influencer platform notifying me about a collaboration opportunity.
They weren't connected. I have a friend who works at the company and I asked her if it was possible that something in their marketing pipeline was triggered to do that. It wasn't. This was complete coincidence and serendipity. The universe wanted me to have more bras from Harper Wilde, by any means necessary. I got the message, and now my ladies are lifted. And I really think you should try them, too.
You Must Go To Whole Foods Market THIS WEEK
Beauty Brunch @ Filoli & An EPIC Sale
Y'all. A few weeks ago, I got to experience a wonderful, experiential event at Filoli. I'd heard of this beautiful, historic estate before but truthfully don't leave the city very often, so it was my first time. It's only 30 minutes south of San Francisco, and it won't be my last time visiting the grounds.
The garden house is simply enchanting. Beautifully kempt grounds boast impeccable gardens like I've never seen. Many kind, fashionable women were treated to brunch provided by Whole Foods San Mateo. Before we chowed down, there was a WFM Beauty Bar set up for us to indulge in other ways—I'm talking on-site manis and facials.
Don't Miss This Sale
It's incredibly challenging to detox your vanity. There are a lot of shiny, tempting beauty products that seem to be the answer to your makeup routine struggle. Many times, they've got a long list of ingredients that are hard to pronounce and very effing bad for you. There's also the fact that some products that are free of harmful toxins are $$$. Thankfully, Whole Foods Market just started their Beauty Week. All facial care, hair care, and cosmetics are 25% off from March 21st - 27th. I'm personally running low on facial cleanser, so the Brilliantly Brightening Facial Scrub from Acure which was in my brunch goodie bag is coming in very handy. As is the Evan Healy Face Care Kit.
Pass Me The Booch
What if I told you that the most stern talking to I got from my spouse about budgeting had to do with my obsession with kombucha? I realized years ago that the effervescent drinks are a powerful match to any indigestion I suffer. But I was buying a bit too many per week... Imagine my delight when I rolled up to see a KOMBUCHA BAR! I tried several different Health-Ade flavors in delicious mocktails with Instagram-worthy garnishes.
He's honestly one of the main reasons why I care so much about what I put into and on my body. We are very mindful of how we source our food, homegoods, and especially body care.
This Is What I Plan to Buy
What will you stock up on this week? I personally use the Lavender + Aloe soap by Everyone. It's 3in1 and I've been using it as a shower gel for years. That will be added to my shopping cart, as well as a new facial cleanser, and maybe a bright, spring-inspired nail color from Pacifica, whose products are 7 free, which means they're formulated without parabens, phthalates (dibutyl phthalate), toluene, xylene, camphor, formaldehyde, resin, and animal testing.
Huge thanks to Whole Foods San Mateo for pampering and nourishing us with the most beautiful brunch. Use #wfmbeautyweek when you share about your beauty finds! I just followed the hashtag so I can see what you share because, yes, I'm nosy but I also love connecting with like-minded individuals like you.
A Snow Day That Will Melt Your Heart
This Is How My BFF Got an Instagram Makeover
Five years ago, I was newly engaged when my best friend, heretofore known as BFF (pronounced biff), convinced me to download some app called Instagram. Though I used to be an early adopter of social platforms, somewhere between Xanga and Myspace, I calmed the hell down and stopped using anything other than Facebook. It will help you plan your wedding, she said. You will get tons of info, she said. Little did we know it would lead to an eventual career change for me and a way for me to impact thousands of lives.
My BFF has followed my journey and we've been there for each other for the majority of our lives—since we were 9 years old. Highschool, college in different states, weddings also in different states, and we're still stuck like glue. When she wanted to have a crafting business on the side, I gave her some social strategy tips and encouraged her to create a new Instagram, separate from her private, personal account which she limits because she's now a public school teacher. Crafting and Math Tutoring were the focus, and she wasn't that into it. She and her amazing husband are expecting their first child soon and what better way to stay creative and productive than documenting all of the fun things she's making and planning in anticipation for the little one's arrival?
There was a snowstorm in New Jersey today and many places of business were closed, so my favorite growing family had the day off! Titi Angie was on it with a screen share and a pre-made tutorial. Two hours later, BFF had a new bio, archived any and every off brand post, and reinforced skills and strategies to kick much ass as she stylishly documents the beauty of her new life in a way that feels good to her. I'm certain she will inspire others.
Here's a Before & After
She went from an account name that was something like @algebra_n3rd to the much more catchy @thecraftymami. I personally cannot wait to see all of the cute and creative things she shares.
Are you interested in an Instagram makeover? For the month of April, I'm offering an Insta Reboot for just $197. You'll get a revised bio, up to 5 branded story highlights, a hashtag user manual, and a guide to curating content that will make your page appealing and easy to manage.
On Branding: 3 Reasons to Kick Fear to The Curb
January was wonderfully full of inspiring femmes, good friends, and women business owners. A really great bonus of surrounding yourself with people who are similarly aligned and ambitious is that you get to grow professionally and personally.
While chatting about content marketing and strategy, as I'm wont to do, one of my friends said she was nervous to offend other moms with her blog topics. There's a lot she wants to say to encourage women to do what works best for them in motherhood, and her followers ask her questions all the time that she's unsure about answering. This fear came up over and over again in conversations with other women I admire and respect, who are complete boss babes in their own right.
Here's my favorite mommy blogger with the cutest dang babyyyyy aka Camilla. Click to see more preciousness on IG.
Let's break down how and why you should speak your mind:
1. "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
The people who want to follow us on social and read our blogs probably aren't going to get offended by us speaking our truth. If they are, they're not our ideal client–and that's okay! An often misquoted saying, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter," is perfectly true when it comes to your personal choices, and to take it further, your branding. This was Bernard Baruch's response when asked how he chose the seating arrangements for his dinner parties. After much success in business, he became a presidential advisor. He had a bunch of jobs and got things done well. Worrying about how people would react to seating arrangements wasn't a concern of his. You need not worry about offending someone because you share how you live or work. It's not for everyone and that's perfectly fine. It doesn't mean you have to keep it to yourself
Sitting on top of a fireplace in a common area in my apartment in the middle of the day because I wanted to get this shot while working with a film photographer, and I didn't care who noticed. Thanks to Steven B. Photography for the photo.
2. You Must Stand Out
What if we all wore the same clothes? Had the same hairstyle? Watched the same shows? It would be so boring! Niche accounts on Instagram perform incredibly well, and I've observed that they're the easiest to grow. Not everyone is going to give a hoot about fountain pens, but my friend John just started a blog as a passion project because he's been a collector for over 20 years. In less than 6 months, he's grown to have over 1,000 organic followers who are just as into fountain pens as he is! (I test drove some. It's really pretty cool.) Do not be concerned that what you create or put out isn't for everyone. It shouldn't be! Just like you don't serve everyone under the sun, your content doesn't have to be one-size-fits-all. By being super honest and getting real, you'll attract the people who want to go along with you on the ride. So strap in and carpool with people who are gonna be into the same epic road trip playlist. My preferred mix of post-punk and 90's hip hop isn't for everyone.
John is also a photographer, which is why all of his Fountain Pen Love is so beautifully showcased.
3. Authenticity Is Necessary
All good and functioning relationships are based on honesty. Social media is all about the relationship you have with people who opt into a connection with you. Sincerely sharing about your business and your views will help maintain clarity on why you do what you do and who you want to serve. It's okay to be selective. In fact, it's necessary so that you stand out! Don't be one of the herd. If you're just like everyone else, where's the value in following you? Additionally, when we make content that's true to who we are, it fuels us. Here's a post from when I had my very own a-ha moment via an excerpt from one of my Instagram posts:
I was all set to create some content for a beauty product. The more I used it, the more I disliked it. I also looked at the label and the list of ingredients freaked me out. Instead of going through with it due to obligation (I consider this potential partner/business owner a friend), I was honest about it not being my favorite. She wasn't mad. In the grand scheme of things, it did no damage, and I get to stay true to myself and only share things that I really like and think you may like, too.
When passion coincides with work, then you're living the dream. I give you permission to share your opinions. You're your own boss, after all.
This New Instagram Feature Will Change Influencer Marketing
A Peek Into Instagram's New Branded Content Tagging
(Portrait of yours truly by the amazing Ashley Gerrity)
I've seen a few influencers utilize Instagram's new Branded Content Tagging and read a few articles on it, but it remained a mystery to me until this morning.
When I opened the app, there was a message box at the top of my screen:
There's long been an ethical issue when it comes to posting sponsored content. Historically, it was obvious when a public figure endorsed a product and assumed that they were compensated in return. That type of knowledge is important for consumers so they can be informed and make their own judgements. The Federal Trade Commission continuously works "to improve disclosure in social media endorsements."
I've been wondering about the integration so I pushed the "Get Started" button and took some screenshots so you can get a glimpse, too. It seems pretty straightforward, but I'm not sure I'll remember all the steps when it comes time for my next sponsored post. So, this blog is just as much for you as it is for me. The following is Instagram's explanation to me, a business profile owner and micro-influencer.
Even if a product is gifted, the law states that the relationship between content creators and brands must be explicit. Some unclear endorsements are to blame for events gone horribly awry, such as the failed Fyre Festival. Hailed by many popular influencers as a luxury music getaway in the Bahamas, it was anything but. The event was all hype and people spent a lot of money to essentially be stranded. Hopefully, with more clarity of relationships between businesses and social media stars, there won't be anymore bamboozling of consumers.
Do you know which brands are successfully and regularly utilizing this new feature? I've seen it a few times, but no specific accounts come to mind. I wonder if this is another way that Instagram is going to strong arm businesses into boosting content with paid reach.
Seems like there's going to be a learning curve on both the part of creators and brands. While there's only a few steps, it's not very intuitive a process. Creating a workflow will be necessary for the success of content creation and abiding by Instagram's new guidelines.
One of the most valuable parts of this feature seems to be better performance measurement through in-app tracking. Businesses will be able to quantify the success of partnerships based on specific posts. We can only manage what we measure, and this is going to make marketing departments much more effective with their budgets.
I'll report back when my my content is back from the photographer for my next sponsored post.
6 Social Media Management Rules for When There's Crisis In The World
It's heartbreaking. There's been another mass shooting and many have lost their lives in Las Vegas. Last night was the first time I've witnessed an ongoing terror attack that was livestreamed by everyday people. When LVPD tweeted to ask that eyewitnesses not share their locations or tactics, as that could cause more danger to law enforcement and victims, it was a startling realization for me—social media could be as damaging as it is helpful in times of crisis. I'm truly sorry for everyone affected by the terrorism on Sunday night.
As more brands utilize social media marketing on a daily basis, it's important to adhere to some basic rules. We're responsible for what we share and when we post. The following are rules for brands and companies to adhere to in times of crisis:
1. Be Aware
You should be plugged into current events at all times. This is a necessity for any good social media manager, especially as it relates to Real Time Marketing opportunities. This is step 1. Know what's going on in the world.
2. Take A Time Out
If any of your scheduled posts aren't relevant, reschedule them. Pause. Layoff. No one is going to be working at full capacity in the wake of national terrorism. Not only that, but your brand will be perceived as inconsiderate for attempting to maintain "business as usual" on a day when many are grieving. The only exception to this rule is if your company is directly connected to the tragedy and you're being helpful.
3. Help
Is your organization in a position to help those affected? Whether it's providing access to medical care, or food, or shelter, by all means, utilize your social channels and assist if you can. Share hotlines and information that will mobilize your followers.
4. Be Real
If you're going to post something, make sure it's genuine and kind. Short and concise, a message of sympathy for the victims is what any good person would do. Your brand's social channels exist because people are managing it to communicate with other people. Be human and personal.
5. Wait
There's an unspoken 24 hour rule that most with-it brands follow when it comes to their own branded messaging. After a short message of condolence, you probably don't need to say anything else. A lot of PR agencies will wait 48 hours before pitching again, out of respect for others. Use your own judgement to decide when exactly you get back on track. Do you really think it's going to be helpful if you proceed with your product launch, anyway? (Doubt it.)
6. Review & Revise
Did you post a goofy meme a few hours before the incident transpired? Well, it's probably in poor taste now. Were you going to announce a sweepstakes winner? They can wait a day or two. It's more than okay to delete any content that retrospectively seems tone deaf or to move your schedule around. Having empathy and being a brand that values people will have a lot more power for your long-term visibility than a happy contest winner.
What Not To Do
Do NOT co-opt any hashtags that are used in conjunction with a tragedy. Some people are searching those tags to find loved ones or sharing life-saving information. It's a really bad look to try and tap into that conversation for your own benefit. And Twitter does not forget. Also, it's just in poor taste.
30 Likes, 1 Comments - 앤지 Hilem ⚡️ Heighten Social (@angiehilem) on Instagram: "Just a reminder. We're all dealing with things differently. Please strive to be kind and..."
This is Why Starting Over on Instagram Works
Guest Post By Ella Sophie
As a creative business owner, fostering connection with others aligned with your goals and mission is invaluable. Today's post is from someone who is both a colleague and a friend.
Ella is an incredibly talented artist who also traded the east coast for the west coast last year. Though I've guest blogged for her in the past, this is the first time I'm sharing someone else's writing on my site - and I'm excited to share her experiences with you.
Read to learn all about her Instagram evolution:
About a year ago, I moved to Oakland after 6 months of traveling. During that time, I took a break from running my business and never went on social media. I kept my phone turned all the way off, except when I would turn it on every couple of days to send a quick text to my family so they'd know I was still alive.
Well, all that traveling was awesome for me, but not so good for my social media and Instagram. My account had a couple thousand followers that I built up over years of being a photographer. But I didn’t really know who those people were, and most live in NY. My engagement was SO low when I started posting again that it felt pointless to share anything at all. After trying and failing for some time to revive my Instagram, I decided I had to bite the bullet and start over.
This was right around the time that Angie started giving me pointers on how I should be using Instagram. I decided I would go at it with focus. I know that I want my audience to be primarily women. I want them to be local to the San Francisco Bay Area. And, I want them interested in the work I do around empowering women through photography.
It's been 5 months since I started my new account @ellasophiephotographer. And all the tips I got, I’ve put into place. My following is just shy of 700 users. My demographics are exactly where I want them. With 75% being women, 90% being in my target age ranges, and over 40% being local to Oakland, San Francisco and the Bay Area.
My engagement is healthy, with most posts getting around 100 likes, which may not seem like a huge number, but these are all people I want to be reaching. And it feels pretty damn good. Most importantly, I have gotten some awesome clients through Instagram since starting over.
I’d call that a win.
(Editor's Note: That's an engagement rate of 14%.
Most brands and larger accounts are lucky to have 1%. This is higher than average!)
So, what was this magical advice I got from Angie? The most important takeaway is that I need to know what it is that I want from the platform. What’s my end goal? Is it a self esteem boost? Visibility? Driving traffic to my site? Or getting new clients? This goal sometimes changes with specific posts. But I always know what it is that I’m trying to do, instead of haphazardly posting because I feel like I have to.
Angie also talked to me about making sure my captions are authentic. I’m not the only photographer to make lame sounding sales pitches in their captions. She pointed that out for me, and pushed me to write from my heart. Now I share things about my life, or my feelings about the clients, or whatever it is that is true to me in that moment.
Another important tip that I've learned is to know how I want my feed to look and feel. So now I pay attention to my grid. Often I plan posts in advance, with batching in mind, although I still like to be spontaneous with my posts sometimes. And with each post, I think about how I want my audience to feel, and what is the message that I’m putting out there?
I hope that the photos I post inspire people to feel good about themselves. I want to show art, authentic badass women, and true love. Encourage people to make conscious decisions when it comes to fashion. And, I hope that when a woman looks through my feed, she sees the variety of people represented and realizes that she, too, is beautiful. - and that a photoshoot with me is exactly the right thing to do to celebrate one's unique strength. (Check out my session with Angie here.)
Instagram Posts: 3 Steps to Posting So You'll Never Be Stuck
Instagram is my jam - I help business owners, bloggers, and budding entrepreneurs understand how to use this channel as part of their core marketing strategy. Still, I sometimes get stuck and I'm not sure what to post. If you haven't batched in a while and find yourself here, repost an older piece of content.
1. Captions
After a one-on-one strategy consultation with me, clients are better equipped to manage their online presence. It's a lot of new information at once, and a whole new way of thinking about things. When I do my follow up calls, some of them struggle with writing copy for their amazing images. Here's the thing: your visual is the star of the show, and the copy is the supporting cast. Don't get too hung up on what you're writing. For the most part, it should be concise and succinct. There are 3 go-to captions:
- Ask a question - this will engage your audience and make your social media account social again
- Tell a joke. Some people are pun masters and I always appreciate a good dad joke.
- Write a song lyric! Although, I sometimes feel really out of touch when I comment on a caption that's from a song I've never heard...
165 Likes, 19 Comments - Austie (@austiejordan) on Instagram: ""I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can" @jayz"
Austie is kinda the queen of song lyrics as captions. Maybe she actually credited the artist here because I so often am clueless and asking her questions in the comments...
2. Repurpose Your Content
95 Likes, 39 Comments - 앤지 Hilem ⚡️ Heighten Social (@angiehilem) on Instagram: "#TuesdayTip: You can repurpose your posts. If an image does well the first time around, and will..."
This was my post from this past Tuesday. I'll make a habit of giving a Content Marketing Tip every Tuesday on Instagram, so be sure to leave me a comment or direct message if you have an issue or problem I can help you solve.
3. K.I.S.S.
Also known as, "keep it simple, s[illy]." (I interpreted that last word to be more positive than the traditional meaning, because name-calling isn't my ~thing~) My favorite quippy caption-generating machine is my friend Talena. This is a perfect example of keeping it simple. Her bright, perfectly laid work area says enough.
130 Likes, 3 Comments - Talena Lyd (@talenalydia) on Instagram: "My cute lil desk"
I hope these tips help you with your future posts! Let me know what else I can help explain or teach you.
Batching For Instagram: 2 Simple Steps
How Batching Content Creates Cohesive Online Aesthetic
In a community I helped create, a member recently asked how he can start integrating lifestyle posts into his Instagram feed without it looking "out of place." Most of his content consisted of self-portraits and selfies. While his self-love is something we can all aspire to have, and his posts are all above average as far as quality, he recognized the need to diversify his content.
Brandon Quay's Instagram has always been lit. This grid is from Fall 2016.
Even the biggest influencers have to break up their posts with imagery outside of themselves. In a business sense, it allows people to promote products in a fresh way. In a visual sense, it creates a more relaxed grid that feels unique. From a creator's perspective, it seriously aids and relaxes the need for constant high-quality photography of one's best self.
Aimee Song's recent flatlay post showcases content created by another person. It fits her overall aesthetic and is a perfect example of how lifestyle photos can be incorporated into different feeds.
See this Instagram photo by @songofstyle * 24.2k likes
Back to our friend Brandon
Early January 2017, before our conversation.
The bat signal I heard reverberate throughout our online community: "I mean I don't mind that I look like I'm obsessed with myself (because I am) but sometimes I don't have pictures to post or look a hot ass mess and can't take pictures. It'd be nice if I could just throw up a picture of something from my day. HELP!"
I explained a bit about batching and suggested that his next trip to a cafe serve as an opportunity to create multiple posts to share on different days, with these simple steps:
- Take 2 pics of yourself, maybe from different angles or with different background
- One pic of a thing (plate of food, your drink, a plant, whatever)
When planning your grid, put 3 photos in a row in this order: you, thing, you.
For the next row: thing, you, thing.
Repeat.
- To really get into it, take 6 photos of yourself and 6 photos of things. This can be a close up detail of your watch, shoes, notebook.
You now have enough images for your next grid and then some. By utilizing batching, you can worry less about lacking content to post. What's that saying about working smarter, not harder? This is an example of how you can do that with your content marketing strategy for the best Instagram marketing. Or, create a strategy for your social channels if you've never had one before.
I wish all of my clients took my advice as well as Brandon.
Look at this glorious change! Brandon reached a new level of "slaysian" with his batching knowledge.
I'm so impressed with the marked difference in his overall Instagram account. Brandon successfully took my suggestions and made incredible progress. As a stylist, his online presence is vital to his business.
Even if you're not professionally using Instagram for marketing, a more cohesive account will yield more followers. And it's about time you started that blog you've been thinking about, isn't it?
Instagram For Business @ Ink & Mortar
Mark your calendars Philadelphia! Learn how to Heighten your Social on October 6th and 9th.
Pretty standard expression & pose by me. Photo by Lou.
We've got a new course on Instagram For Business and we're launching it in partnership with Ink & Mortar. After helping countless business owners maximize their social presence, we now aim to help as many people as possible in the form of hands-on workshops.
Lucky for us, the award-winning company that designs some of Philadelphia's best known brands is also into teaching business owners necessary skills to excel. Recently, Ink & Mortar was recognized by Philadelphia Magazine with a Best of Philly award for their series of Personal Branding Classes. Pretty perfect for a partnership, huh?
Hardly a day goes by when I don't think of Sharon, founder and creative director of Ink & Mortar, in part because I see her packaging and logos all around San Francisco! It's an honor to join her and teach a class that's part of her ongoing series of professional development.
See this Instagram photo by @angiehilem * 177 likes
Instagram is a big part of my life. It's how I keep in touch with some friends, document my travels, and get new clients. Teaching has always been a passion of mine and it delights me that I'm able to share educational content, on a topic I love, in a classroom setting. (Little known fact: I was a high school English teacher for some years.)
Join us for a dynamic evening class on Thursday October 6th or an AM session on Sunday October 9th. This class is informative and collaborative in ways that webinars aren't. Come for a good time and leave with:
an optimized profile for your business
tools to create engaging content
a life-time community of fellow business owners
Looking forward to meeting you IRL and figuring out ways to creatively address your social struggles. The class is small and a special rate that is much lower than will be offered in the future. Sign up now and don't wait until it's too late!